maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
