i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
