If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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