You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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