check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
