His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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