they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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