just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Who did Billy Mays play for?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize