She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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