dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
