This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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