I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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