how can u be prego again
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize