I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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