My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
