I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
