On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
