HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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