Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
