Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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