considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
