Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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