2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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