you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
