i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize