I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
