I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
