i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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