The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
