I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I woke up under a house in Key West
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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