You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
