So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
