Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize