well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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