I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
