Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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