I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
