I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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