i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
