I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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