He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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