Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
