he wants to bone in the snuggie
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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