O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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