hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
