If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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