She announced her abortion via fbk
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
