how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
