hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The power of my boobs compel you
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
