Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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