we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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