if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
