You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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