Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
