you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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