So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
