There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
