He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I deserve this hangover.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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