you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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