eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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