I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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