I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize