it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
